Ode to My Velvet Red Robe

I asked for one thing for my birthday

Make it two

A fancy party

And a velvet red robe

Marti didn’t disappoint

Who am I kidding

She never does

Folded mindlessly

On an old velvet green love seat

Lay my velvet red robe

With golden touches of flowers

On the bottom, collar, and cufflings

Slipped it on

As quick as can be

Buttoned the two buttons

Just around the neck

And tied her up nice

I looked at my reflection

Only to find

An emperor

Of some Asian democracy

He quickly transformed

Into none other then

Hugh Hefner himself

Surrounded by saucy big boobed bunnies

With cute little tails

I shook my head

In complete disbelief

And when Halloween

Came around

Not so long ago

A vampire emerged

Blood dripping down

From my sharp glued in teeth

I spooked em all

Screaming “Countess Dracula…

She’s so Spo0o0o0oky”

Whoever I may be

It’s the robe

That makes it

More than possible

To jump in disguise

As a ruler, a pimp, or a blood sucking whore

To be honest

I've really grown

to like them all